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Dreams, Aspirations and Support.

Let me tell you something about dreams, aspirations and support.

You see, you need to understand that your dream is conceived, nurtured, and the drive to establish it is on you and you alone. The moment you begin to plan around and depend on people on a dream you are nurturing, and that they will help you propagate or establish it then you are putting yourself in jeopardy. You need to understand that no one owes you anything, be it to help you realise or achieve your dreams. The moment they don’t support your aspirations then you have no right to begrudge them.

I understand that as humans, we tend to rely on people a lot, we most times have this entitlement mentality, and most times we would have even calculated at the back end of our minds how this and this person would be a huge pillar of support, then when we realise that they are not even acting as if they saw us trying to establish our dreams then we get hurt, depressed and sometimes angry. It is normal to feel that way at times, but you need to snap out of it real quick and get over that feeling lest your dreams and aspirations begin to sink.

When I just started blogging, I  was so uncomfortable at putting my introverted self out there but I was so excited that at last I would be able channel my passion for writing into affecting lives positively.

I had concluded in my mind how much people would support me. I started and just few people whom I will never forget their solidarity stood constantly by me. There were some people I had banked on because of my consistent support for them in whatever they do, who never even looked at my side or acted as if they saw that I had started something new. I mean my rationalizing heart excused them initially and concluded that maybe they didn’t see, but they never acknowledged what I was doing nor utter a word of support or encouragement, rather some of these people would do a counter post or article on what I had written,  I was a bit disappointed and I wondered why they were acting that way, but I called myself to order, talked to myself to stop feeling entitled to their solidarity and support, they owe me NOTHING, so I stopped looking at their sides and withdrew myself from all sorts of negativity. And one beautiful thing I learnt and still learning is that you make lots of progress when you distance yourself from all sorts of negativity that could affect your psyche.

I discovered that no matter how supportive you are of some people, be it by your encouragement and constant solidarity when they began a new project, doesn’t mean they will show you the same solidarity when it’s your turn. Some people  love to be the only ones doing something worthwhile, while others close to them and around them are lost and without a sense of direction.  It gives them this feeling of grandiose delusion. Once you aspire from being their fans and supporter to becoming a person of your own who also has a similar vision,or once they notice you also have a similar vision to theirs, or even have a vision at all and are very passionate about it,  they get threatened and resentful, and no matter how all the world cheers you on and supports you, they will never ever acknowledge you even if your work is staring them right in the face.

You need to also understand that it’s very beautiful to support those who support you, so far your dreams align, even if it does not, so far their dreams are not evil or against your believes, it’s OK to support them. That is the beautiful thing to do, and this is like a balm to the heart of the recipient of your support.

It’s also very OK not to support those who do not support you. Some people might term this as arrogance, but I see it as self preservation. Why do you have to keep showing support for someone who does not support nor acknowledge you or your aspirations? Why do you want to continuously torture yourself just to prove you are the bigger person while you hurt real bad?  Unless you have gotten to a point where you are dead to negative feelings, a point where things don’t bother you anymore, not even a slightest bit, then it’s fine if you keep supporting those who do not support you. But if you are a sensitive being and you pick up vibes, most especially the ones directed at you easily then you need to stop supporting those who do not support you. This does not mean you have to begrudge them, on the other hand, this helps you not to begrudge them, and it distances you from every form of negative feelings towards them and also makes you focused on your dreams and aspirations without distractions.

You also need to understand that it’s fine to support those who do not support you. Sometimes you get blown away by their knowledge, or by what they are doing, and you just can’t help but acknowledge them, go ahead and acknowledge them, it’s a sign of maturity on your side, and it means gradually you are overcoming any form of negativity or distractions people might exhibit in other to hurt you.

Finally understand that for you to get to where you desire in life,for your dreams to become a reality, you have to constantly and consciously distance yourself from every form of negativity at all times. You have to do away from anything that could create bitterness in your heart and stall your dreams. You have to understand that the world is big, so big and it does not revolve around you, you are just a tiny little bit in it, so you might not even be heard or seen for a long while,  but you have to keep striving to carve your own nitch.  Only then would no one put you aside, write you off nor overlook you. This usually does not happen over night, most times it takes a very long time, but I assure you that with your consistence and hard work, your dreams will come to fruition and to your amazement you will get there.quotescover-jpg-25

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Understanding Post Natal Depression for a Nigerian Mother.

Postnatal depression as defined by Oxford Living Dictionary can be defined as the:

“Depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue”

Postnatal depression is very common amongst new moms, but due to the kind of society we are, and live in, we tend to cover up a whole lot of things by putting up a brave face.

The arrival of a new born should bring joy and happiness into a home, but sadly in most Nigerian marriages, this usually becomes the season of family duels.     Continue reading Understanding Post Natal Depression for a Nigerian Mother.

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Today’s Woman-Article written by Oluwatoyin Aremu.

Who exactly is a woman, is she really a weaker vessel as generally said? The society has somehow made many women forget how treasured they are simply because they are described as being a weaker vessel. Weaker vessel in the context of 1Pet. 3:7 does not mean intellectual weakness, physical weakness, or spiritual weakness I must say.  It only means women are wired more emotionally than the men, and they long for care, Deborah in Judges 4 was a woman and she led Israel for 40 years even going to battle front; Mary Slessor was also a woman, I am also a woman by His grace. Continue reading Today’s Woman-Article written by Oluwatoyin Aremu.

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Today’s Woman by Kehinde Familoni-Faleye

My name is Kehinde Familoni-Faleye, wife of Oluwadare Faleye, mother of A&A, two beautiful damsels.

I AM TODAYS WOMAN.

My slogan is I AM Number 1….. Setting the pace and striking a balance

Making your beautiful self number 1 made no sense to me while growing up, I rather thought not putting yourself first is the height of selflessness and the best practice for a good woman and a dutiful wife in making, I wished my mama had modeled it more for me to understand (God bless and keep her) I have asked myself many times why the church teachings was not balanced on it, I wonder why our society frowns when a woman is to be number 1. Continue reading Today’s Woman by Kehinde Familoni-Faleye

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Today’s Woman

Today’s woman should not be afraid to launch out and show the world that entirely she’s got. She is a strong woman who has basic and fundamental understanding of all that God has deposited in her. She is bold and self-assured, pushing through odds to achieve great things. A today’s woman is a confident woman. She is not afraid to make mistakes, yet she goes a step further to use her own mess as a message for others.   Continue reading Today’s Woman

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Today’s Woman

My name is  Oluwasanmi  Akomolafe, wife of K Bobo, mother of three lovely cute boys,  and I am Today’s Woman, who13076711_10209114329677764_5233093756546256328_n knows her worth is not determined by her status,  whether single, married, separated or divorced, I am valuable.

I am a woman created for a purpose on earth and on a mission to fulfill it, even in a society that suppresses women and what they stand for. Continue reading Today’s Woman

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Raised by a single mom and not ashamed

I have come across people in the journey of my life, I mean friends, acquaintances and even elderly people,  that wanted me to apologize or dwell in apology for coming from a broken home, I wonder now  if they were the ones that came from a broken home, or was it their broken home?  So why do they want me to be apologetic for something that was not my doing, something I had no control over? Kai (gosh) my eyes have seen in this my life sha lol(I have seen a lot in this life). Continue reading Raised by a single mom and not ashamed

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Mom, toddler(s)and a pastor’s wife

I celebrate you mom, I celebrate you from the bottom of my heart. I am awed by your heart of service. How do you do it?  How do you keep it all together?

How do you manage being a wife, a mom of toddler(s) and the wife of a pastor?

Words cannot describe how much of a super mom you are for holding it all together.

What grace, what mercy, how blessed are you amongst women. Continue reading Mom, toddler(s)and a pastor’s wife

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What is that word that is pressing you?

I know my title looks weird lol,  it came to me while I was packing some stuffs, and boom I hurried to pick up my phone and began to scribble away.

On my journey to opening Musings and thoughts, I had lots of  obstructions and mountains that looked insurmountable, I had no slightest idea on what to do and how to go about it,  I mean this was an idea that came like a faint whisper, I had resisted it times without number when the voice was loud and clear, how would I now obey this faint whispered voice? Continue reading What is that word that is pressing you?

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