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January 2 1997

We just finished the new year celebration and we were still basking in the euphoria of chicken legs and turkey laps when the thieves came calling.

We heard gba gba  gba( bang on the door) my mom, bro, myself, the girl that lived with us and my aunt all woke up at the same time and froze.  Kiloshele, awon won niyen? Tani?(who are those, what’s the matter) mom asked? Continue reading January 2 1997

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Domestic violence victim speaks out, needs a job

I got married 2009, but after the wedding, my husband lost his job. So, I had to be the one taking care of the responsibilities at the home front. Shortly after this period, my husband changed, he started beating me anyhow, he would call my parents that they should come and take me alive or else he will kill me, then, send my corpse to them.
All l could do was to pray because l was thinking then, that his attitude changed because of the job he lost.
One day, he opened up to me and said that he married me for a purpose, that he thought my parents were rich and they would be giving him money monthly, but now he knows my parents have nothing, he said l should leave but l refused to leave.
During this period, l got pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl. His family were angry with the child and they called her names, my husband also called her bad luck, that giving birth to her didn’t bring him money.
l continued to endure. One day, l had to take my baby to my parents because he always try  to injure the girl anytime he beats me.
A few days after l took my daughter to my parents, he called me and apologized, that he is now born again and this really shocked me,  he doesn’t apologise.  This man is rude, arrogant and has a very high temperament. He cooks up stories and lies, but l still accepted his apology.
An hour later, l prepared lunch for both of us, we all ate the food together,  after some minutes, l felt a sharp pain in my stomach so l asked him to take me to the hospital but he said no, that it’s just stomach pain. To cut the story short, he locked me inside the house and went away.
Meanwhile, there was a time my sister came to check on me and she saw everything herself and she warned me to leave the house, but l refused. Thank God on this day, she collected my neighbor’s number just in case of emergency as she wasn’t satisfied with my refusal to leave.  On this day, while  I was experiencing  the stomach pains, as God will have it, my sister was calling but I couldn’t pick because l was already vomiting blood and there was no one to help.
My sister was the one that called my neighbor to check on me that she has been calling but l didn’t pick up. My neighbor then, called her husband and they broke the door and helped me. l was rushed to the hospital and the doctor confirmed that it was poison l ate.
Now, the question was who poisoned the food?  l prepared the food after all.
After lots of threats from my parents to get him arrested, he confessed he poisoned the food. From the hospital, l went to my sister’s place, and that’s where I was, when he called me one day and said that he had packed out of the house and out of my life. Since May 2010, we’ve been separated, but  I’m still in fear of this man.
Two years ago, l reported him at the human rights office in Ikeja, he cooked up lots of stories and told lots of lies there, and l was asked to give my baby to him, but l refused and told them l know him well, he tried to fool those people and some days after he threatened me saying  “take me to the magistrate, you will meet me there”.
He claims he is a criminal that all his friends are cultists. l had to flee from him.   I  lost my Job last year November and since then it has been difficult taking care of my daughter .My house rent is due, up keep is not easy, my daughter’s school fees too is yet to be paid. This is part of my story.



Thank you friends for reading, how can we be of help to her? She has a degree, and in dire need of a job. She and her husband have parted ways, but I know what it feels like to live in constant fear, to keep watching your back for fear of being harmed, maimed or killed. It’s a terrible way to live.  Coupled with the fact that she is now jobless, making her an easier prey for her predator.

I am happy women are getting more courageous and less ashamed to speak out, to shame the abusers, to get help and seek for empowerment in order to better their lots, this is a step in the right direction, this means our voices are being heard, this means women are no more inclined to remain hidden in the culture of silence like the society wantssshh1, silence that are leading women to early graves. Kudos to all my sisters and friends out there fighting this good fight of liberation for battered women and all women alike, a big well-done job sisters!
Image credit from, and
Here in attached  is her CV  tomi cv

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