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Self comparison is one major barrier on the path way of many people to progress, that is part of the reason why they are not able to walk in purpose.

They are always comparing themselves to others.

They measure the yardstick of their success with other people’s success.

They are only happy and feel great when their successes trumps the successes of others.

They are unhappy and sad when the success of other people trump theirs, and they are constantly seeking for ways to outdo others rather than stay on their path and do better than they did yesterday.

Self comparison is very damaging, and it elicits two major feelings from you.

1. The feeling of being superior to others,
2. The feeling of being inferior to others.

You feel superior to others when you compare your successes and achievements to theirs and rate yourself as doing better than them.

The implication of this is that it gives you a superiority complex and drives you backward rather than forward.

You become contented in your present achievements rather than develop yourself more in your field.

You bask in the glory of the present and of the fact that you are better than others.

The people you feel you are better than will keep working hard to be better than who they were yesterday, they keep improving on their skills.

While you are still basking in your superiority, they are working hard to do better than they did yesterday.

On the other hand self comparison gives you a feeling of inferiority complex when you feel others are better than you and it could keep you on a lock down forever until you stop comparing yourself to others and just believe in yourself and uniqueness.

It could blind you from stepping into purpose because that inferiority self comparison generates will birth feelings like fear, negativity, anxiety, paranoia etc.

Another danger of Self Comparison is that it would push you into a time that is not yet yours.

What do I mean by this?

The frenzy and buzz of life can pose as a huge challenge for you if you are not grounded and know who you are.

This is why as a Christian I personally attribute the place of true self discovery to the Holy Spirit.

Every discovery I have made about myself today where secrets that were whispered to me by the Holy Spirit.

I never looked at anyone doing them and decided “oh this is what I want to be”, not at all.

I heard clearly in my seasons of observations and deep brooding with God that this is what you must do and BOOM I moved!

If I was dwelling in self comparison I would have missed my direction.

Self comparison would make you enter into other people’s time. You are desperate to break forth, therefore you are always in a haste to grab every opportunity that comes your way.

You would keep comparing yourself to others and you would want to begin to do what they are doing.

There are some stuffs I am doing this year that I could not have done last year. I knew my time was not yet here so I just didn’t bother about many things.

This year I have gone on other people’s platform to hold soul draining seminars I couldn’t have done that last year or years before when I was still passing through the processes.

“Jesus learnt by the things He suffered”.

This scripture was a balm to my soul the day I came across it. And it made the journey of my life clearer to me.

I was able to fix some puzzles about my life that were not clear before then.

Some of the things many of us are going through now is a process to our purpose, and if only we can just breathe, and focus and stop comparing our lives to others everything would fall into place, and we would laugh last.

Dear friend, ditch self comparison and focus on your own journey.

Be a person of the spirit in order to hear and see about your life and purpose.

It will all add up and be worth it at the end.

Thank you for stopping by and reading, and if you were blessed please share and let the blessing be all over :))

PS: Do you know that I have an inner team on Facebook where I coach women on Identity and Self Discovery? If you are a woman and you like to be a part of this please click  HERE

Till next week, stay blessed!

Sexual harassment for women in schools and at the work place in Nigeria OLUWATOSIN ARODUDU

  • Hadar Creations Publishing



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Fear of failure, a huge limitation

One of the reasons why we experience out right failure in life is that many of us are actually afraid to fail.

We practically walk on egg shells around our vision.

We are afraid to explore things around our vision because we feel we might mess things up.

Once upon a time I never knew I could download free apps from Microsoft suite. I never explored Microsoft to that level ever since I had been using it.

I kept suffering and going through a longer route to do stuffs that I could have done by just downloading free apps from the suite until earlier this year when I just tried and voila it clicked!

I remember when my publishing outfit Hadar Creations started this year, I was practically jittery. Here was I a lawyer(non practicing), and an author delving into graphics and design, an area I never thought I could ever venture into as a result of fear. I was so afraid that I could not properly explore the apps I was using very well. I was afraid if I did, I was going to mess things up. I was afraid to fail or falter so I played safe by sticking to a comfortable area of the app and its usage. However one day my fear was lifted, and I decided to explore this app, I was amazed at its richness and depth. I had so much resources inherent in that app that I didn’t explore as a result of fear.

This is how many of us are, and this is what is limiting us from fully exploring our inherent treasures and unleashing them.

Rather than sticking to the status quo for the fear of ruining things, please try out new things, don’t be afraid to fail or mess things up.

If it scatters you will rebuild again.

The reason why children are given blocks to build is to improve their cognitive skills.

They keep building and scattering until they actually get it right and become so skillful at creating lots of shapes and designs with their blocks.

Don’t be afraid to explore your vision, inside it lays gold and many more gold.

Keep digging and exploring till you become the BEST at what you do.

Thank you for stopping by, I value your feedback.

Are you encouraged? Then please share you never know who would be blessed.


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The Culture of Success

The Culture of Success was an inspiration I had while writing my soon to be released book IDENTITY.

Identity is a power packed book that was a blessing to me the writer, it was like I was taken on a journey of self discovery and unearthing my full treasures. It was a book that taught me about living a purposeful life, a life of authenticity and a life of leadership. It would be released before the year runs out by God’s grace and you need to prepare to get a copy in order to unearth your full potential and be a blessing to generations to come.

What exactly is the culture of success has understood by the world and our immediate society?

The culture of success most especially in our own parts of the world is that you must be rich before you can be considered successful.

It is simply just all about MONEY!

People must see the affluence and money overflowing in your life before you can be considered successful.

It does not matter what you do, it does not matter how hard or smart you work, it does not matter the INTEGRITY you have, it does not matter the ideas you conceive and birth, as long as there is no money and wealth to show for it then you are not successful according to the world standard.

But I tell you today dear friend ditch this expectation of the world and your immediate society.


Being successful is a mindset, and if you see yourself as not being successful then you will not be successful, neither would you be seen as successful.

The world out there is a dangerous ground and people would plague on your insecurities and make it worse. This is why your mindset has to change from inside out.

This is why you need to unlock you, discover you and be bold to own up to you contrary to the opinion of anyone.

This is why you need to search deep inside of you, go on a personal journey of self and total discovery of you. Inherent in you are buried treasures which you must unearth in order to become a person of value which transcends into a successful person.

Whatever your hand finds to do, and you begin to do it well, then you are successful.

Many people have ideas and visions but it dies as fast as it is conceived. However you on the other hand conceived an idea to start a business no matter how cheap it looks, as a man you decided to roll up your sleeves and do a job or work that can be considered below your standard and you do it well then let no one belittle you, you are a SUCCESSFUL man!

As a woman you decided to start frying puffpuff,

to sell cooked food,

to make hair,

to make people up,

to bake,

to sew, to buy and sell,


And as a 9:5 worker, you work diligently, never late, always on time to the office and giving your best at all times, you are SUCCESSFUL!

As a business owner you conceived those ideas and birthed them, then I tell you, that you are a success already don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your diligence, hard work, commitment and love for what you do makes you a SUCCESSFUL person.

Remember Joseph in the Bible?

While Joseph was serving as a slave under an Egyptian master, he was described as being a prosperous man in the Bible, a slave was described as being prosperous not his master.

Just imagine that?

A slave was regarded as being prosperous just because he was fulfilling purpose. While he was thrown in prison he was still a leader, and he was successful at leading in the prison that all other inmates looked up to him.

He made use of his gift by interpreting dreams which eventually led him to become the prime minister of Egypt at the end of the day. Joseph is a great man and his life should be studied by anyone who is walking in purpose.

His life should challenge you and reveal to you that indeed success and prosperity is not riches.

It is the vision you carry inside.

It is the greatness you know is resident in you which you hatch day by day that makes you successful.

This is why you must unearth your buried treasures because you are unique and you can’t let those treasures waste away, and after unearthing it you must UNLEASH IT without holding back or bowing to the dictates of culture and society because trust me they will always create obstructions in your path to cage and limit you.

Inherent in you unleashing your discovered treasures lies your SUCCESS, so go on and carry yourself like the successful man or woman you are.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Affirm yourself each day, I AM SUCCESSFUL!

Thank you for reading, and if you are blessed please share with someone too.

Until then I remain your girl,


Publisher and Identity Coach at

Hadar Creations.

PS: Have you visited my publishing website?

Please do to check out our books, we have some for free download.

You can also help us spread the word that we are the publishing house next door and we help turn your manuscript into a book from cover to interior and promo graphics.

Thank you so much.

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Instinct can be defined as a way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is not learned

  • a natural desire or tendency that makes you want to act in a particular way
  • something you know without learning it or thinking about it
  • a natural ability

Our instinct is one of the greatest gift we have as humans, and if you are going to unleash your full potential and treasures you need to unlock your instinct and unleash it.

Understand that unleashing your full instinct would distinguish you, make people love you, it would also make many people uncomfortable. You carry something different when your instinct is fully unleashed so expect that in the world of humans many people are going to be uncomfortable with you.

As a writer, I have personally discovered that the only way to unleash my instinct is to write from my soul, and you can only unleash your full instinct in writing if you don’t write to please people.

I personally discovered that if you write to please people, or you become a political writer, you can’t fully unleash your potentials or unearth your treasures in the field of writing.

Instinct is so powerful and it adds distinctiveness to whatever you are doing when it’s unleashed.

Have you watched some of these reality shows?

Let me use Project fame for example. 2014 project fame had a lot of contestants who stood out. However there are some particular rendition that some contestants stood out more than the other.

An example was Geoffrey the winner for that year and Christian the second runner-up. Geoffrey performed a song by Majek Fashek, the title was Genesis.

OMG, that performance was distinct. He unleashed his instinct and up till today I can’t get enough of that particular rendition of his, he outdid the owner of the song. That was his best for me, that rendition endeared him to many voters, no wonder he became the winner for that year.

His costume, his actions and dramatization for that particular performance was so instinctive , so mind-blowing. The judges were awe-struck they could not understand him, the power of instinct is indescribable. It takes you into another realm entirely and makes you do what no one has ever done before.

Christian’s rendition on that particular day was also mind-blowing. The way he was jumping, his entrance I can’t even describe it. He acted like a brilliant man soaked in his drunken awareness.

I don’t know if I am making sense hahhaha. This particular Christian also unleashed his instinct when he was on probation at the beginning and he was still holding back. His probation performance had him removing his shoes on stage when it got to a point and he performed like a mad man. That performance turned around the belief of everyone watching the show and even the judges were blown away and had to remove him from probation.

Dear friend your INSTINCT is powerful. God put it there, don’t downplay it. Use it POSITIVELY, unleash it, and watch you become a person of distinction at whatever you do.

I have unleashed my instinct and that is why I am here today.

I am still unleashing it that is why I can write the way I do, and create my unique style of writing.

Make no mistake unleashing your instinct does not translate to automatic love.


As a matter of fact depending on your field of expertise it could gain you enemies, however it would gain you the right people and take you to the right places. That is all that counts and matter.

So what are you waiting for?

Unleash your instinct today and SOAR!

I await your winning story.

Have a beautiful day ahead.

Here is the link to Geoffrey’s performance of Genesis HERE

Was this eye-opening?

Then please share, you never know who you would bless.

Have you read my eBook on sexual harassment?

You can download a free copy here

Sexual harassment for women in schools and at the work place in Nigeria OLUWATOSIN ARODUDU

  • Hadar Creations Publishing

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Do you know that your life will change from inside out once you believe you can do anything and that you are unstoppable?

I wrote about SELF BELIEF in my soon to be released book IDENTITY.

  • (IDENTITY would be released before the end of the year 2018, it is a loaded book designed to break you out of every form of limitation, and to help you live a wholesome authentic life. It is the power book for authenticity and leadership)

Self belief is the believe you have in yourself and the confidence this believe produces.

The bible tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. This means that even God wants us to break out from every self-limiting beliefs, mindsets and thoughts.

I had a lot of self-limiting beliefs from childhood and this stopped me from achieving a lot of things.

Today those self-limiting beliefs are gradually being dropped one after the other. And as I drop them I see myself achieving a lot of huge milestones that leaves my mouth agape and almost in regret of why I didn’t discover the many treasures hidden in me earlier in life.

Dear friend there is nothing impossible for you to achieve!


Believe in yourself from this moment and see the seemingly impossible tasks melt away like ice.

Deliberately begin to take on those tasks you felt were impossible and see yourself achieving them to your own surprise.

There are loads and loads of treasures in you, discover it and unleash it, the world needs it.

Come out of every self-limiting beliefs and box, and don’t allow anyone put you in one too.

Remove every shell you have worn one after the other and bask in your self discovery.

It is the second half of the year already what task or project are you afraid of doing because of your self-limiting belief?

The greatest injustice you can do to yourself is waiting for anyone’s approval to smash your fears, rise up and SMASH them!

I smashed one of my fears this week by moving from designing only the front cover of books to designing the spine and the back cover.

Trust me those two other part aside the front cover are the most technical and most difficult for me because it involves a whole lot of details and carefulness and I would rather stick to my comfort zone by accepting to design just the front cover of a book, or tell the client to give it to someone else, but I SMASHED that fear this week by going ahead to design it all for a client who appreciated it and loved it totally.

I was shocked at my self-limiting belief all along and how relatively easy it all looked after I achieved this supposed difficult task as believed by my mind.

I discovered I could be my greatest enemy by not believing in myself enough.

Remove every self-doubt that has plagued you all your life till now, and replace it with self belief from today.


Was this helpful?

Then Please share in order to bless a life, sharing is caring.

I look forward to your comments, it encourages me to visit here also in order to share with you the liberating articles that I use in coaching women in my inner team on Facebook, Hadar Creations Team.

Thank you so much!

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The Silent Killer

Hello people, Hadar Creations launched another author recently and the name of her book is THE SILENT KILLER, it’s a book on love, relationships, how to handle heart breaks and also marriage. It’s a best seller and it will keep you at the edge of your seat from the first page to the last.

Here is an excerpt from the book….. Continue reading The Silent Killer

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In the simplest definition humility can be defined as the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people, that is the state of being humble in its simplest definition in English.

Humility is a good thing, as a matter of fact everyone who wants to become someone in life has to have a healthy dose of humility.

Humility should be our in born nature, and we should learn to treat others the same way we want them to treat us.

However, our society in Africa has used humility to kill a lot of creativity in us. Continue reading HUMILITY

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*Drum rolls*Hadar Creations first author debuts his first book today

It is with great pleasure today that I share this beautiful news here on this blog, and with my readers.

At the beginning of the year I wrote about starting an online publishing platform for authors. At the time I wrote that article sometime in February that dream was not very  clear. I was just writing as I received. I knew I must begin first even without the vision being very clear. At that time I knew next to nothing about graphics and I was still trying to get a grasp on that thing that looked like magic *rolls eyes*. Continue reading *Drum rolls*Hadar Creations first author debuts his first book today

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Does your word make or mar?

Sometimes, memories of words flash right into my mind and I, all over again wish I could turn back the hands of time, that I may never have walked up to certain people for help. Maybe then, I wouldn’t have had to listen to such cruel, and unkind words that damaged my confidence and faith in what I knew I was gifted to do.
Let me summarise victims’ thoughts this way:

“I came that I may be guided, but left battered. All I wanted was some support to help me get better, but all that occurred was an exchange of my God-given vision for a piece of nothing… I needed the pain alleviated, but returned infuriated!”

Continue reading Does your word make or mar?

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The dilemma of finding spousal support in career and business for African women

Our African-Nigerian society has failed most of our women out there. A society that birthed you, cradled you, nursed you, loved you as a girl at your tender age then downgrade, neglect you as a fully grown young woman. It then tames you, breaks you down, renders you powerless, if not reckless. It then assures you it is OK to live that way, to be like that, to be broken, after all you’re only a woman. You really don’t need much to be happy, you just need to be married, bring forth children, train them to become useful citizens and allow your life to function around that little sphere. Much is not expected of you. Although you were made, meant to change the world you live in. Continue reading The dilemma of finding spousal support in career and business for African women

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